Life is a Beach, and Sometimes a Horse Farm--{p,h,f,r}

I wasn't going to do a Pretty-Happy-Funny-Real post, but then I started reading some of the others posted at Like Mother, Like Daughter and my mind started blogging.  So, I figured if it was already written in my mind, I might as well write it on Blogger.  :)

Pretty

There's something about a proper English riding habit.  Thankfully, this one was borrowed because they also come with a pretty costly price tag.  Saturday was Cowgirl's third riding show.  She had a wonderful time and did a great job.

Happy

Speaking of horses, Buddy had his first official riding lesson last week.  Cowgirl got him started by leading him around for a little while, but then he took off on his own.  I was impressed with how much he could do.  He walked on the rail, backed the horse, walked over ground poles, did a serpentine pattern around orange cones and sat so nice and straight.  All of that in a fifteen minute lesson.  It was a happy time for everyone.  My children are very blessed to have an incredibly generous aunt who also loves horses.  She pays for their lessons and cheers them on every step of the way.  Very, very happy to have her, such a wonderful addition by marriage, to my family.

Funny

  

A view from the covered seating area on Saturday.  The lady on the left in pink is our wonderful aunt.  I don't know if you can tell, but she is taking pictures as always.  She comes to every single one of the kids' events and always takes endless pictures and videos of them.  Without her, I would have much less photographic evidence of their childhoods and probably no pictures of me with them.  Have I mentioned we are blessed?

Anyway, what is funny about this is the two people to her right, my husband and his mother.  Do you see what I see?  For how different they are, his apple is still very close to her tree!

Real

This little guy is having a real good time at the beach, which is really good because we are there EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  I don't have any pictures of his squeals of delight as he kicks in the water because, well, I am trying hard to hold onto him with both hands even though he thinks he can just dive in and follow the big kids.

Every July, I fall in love, again, with where we live.  The beach, the lake, our great neighbors and summer friends, the raucous spare playroom (aka our backyard and front porch) and the sound of hundreds of song birds each morning have me wondering, why would I ever want to move?  As much as we have been trying to sell our home for nine years now, with no success, every summer we realize how special it is to live where we are.  Of course, the reality is that we have two bedrooms, 700 square feet, no basement, no garage, a school and three children.  Come January, I will be eagerly searching for a way out of this place, but we are greatly blessed and like I keep reminding the kids we need to be thankful for all that we have, which is so much more than so many others.  We always end with the thought that their cousins, the Ingalls, lived in one square room--not one bedroom, one room total!  And yes, my husband and children are cousins of Pa Ingalls!

Hope you are having a wonderful week!

 

Teaching from Rest--A Review

I highly respect Charlotte's, at Waltzing Matilda, opinion and homeschooling advice.  She is a veteran homeschooling mom and from what I can see at her blog, a very, very good one at that.  So I was happy to see her review of Teaching from Rest and believe there is a lot of good truth in what she has to say. However, I think that I personally have to come down somewhere in the middle on this book and her philosophy of teaching.

 

As Charlotte points out, you need structure, and checks and balances.  We are raising children that will one day be out in the world as adults.  They need to be able to keep up with a rigorous schedule, develop perseverance and diligence.  It is important for them to have goals and a definitive time frame to achieve them.  While homeschooling is not just about achieving more, there should be minimum standards that we dedicate ourselves to achieving.  We also want to give our children the best education possible and open doors to them according to their strengths.

However, I think we have to remember why we are homeschooling and be pulled back every so often to the heart of our vocations.  No matter where on the continuum, from school at home to unschooling, that you fall, I think we all agree that the public school model of educating is not our ideal.  If we were undying supporters of the public school system, why would we be homeschooling, right?  My experience as a former public school teacher taught me that the system looks more for quantitative measures than qualitative achievements, more for lengthy checklists than internal mastery and inspiration, and more for great breath of subjects covered without much depth.  Likewise, as I stated above, homeschooling is a vocation.  That means it requires a good deal of dedication, sacrifice, and seeking of grace to be accomplished.  We must not lose sight of the fact that we are called to educate our children by God, for God.

I understand the need to have a plan and stick to it, to layout a schedule, curriculum, lesson plan, and assessment strategy.  I do not believe that all children, if left to their own devices, will come to the realization that they must achieve a certain level of mathematical, reading, writing, and researching skills.  I have a child that would most likely never learn any of that, because it just isn't a priority and quite honestly sitting still to learn any of it is a dreaded skill that we continue to work on.  While I admire the free-spirit, artistic daydreams, and butterfly chasing, it is hardly a resume building life.  That is why I believe that I come down somewhere between Charlotte's call for structure and Sarah desire for peaceful flexibility.

There is much to be gleaned from this book and no matter what your homeschooling style, it is good to be reminded of the importance of placing priority on educating the heart and soul.  Perhaps it is because I have only been homeschooling for five years or because I still have a toddler underfoot, that this book touched me in a way that I truly needed.  Our children are with us for such a short time and then they move on to live their lives.  In the end what will matter most?  I believe what will have the biggest impact on their life and the world is grounding them in the faith and teaching them how to live well as children of God.  St Francis said, "Preach the Gospel always and when necessary use words."  I think that being in a state of peace and rest no matter what is falling down around us and always placing the pursuit of God as our first task, is the best preaching mothers can do.  As homeschoolers, we usually spend 24 hours a day with our children, but how much time do we spend really with them, present to them in the moment, as opposed to just in the same home?

The release of this book and The Little Oratory so close to each other leads me to believe that we are truly being called to build a life, family, and house of prayer in our own little corner of the world.  Prayer changes everything, think of what the world would be like if every home were a house of prayer!  So while I am not ready to abandon my discipline of finishing all our assigned work in the assigned time, I realize that some flexibility is in order and is truly a gift of the homeschooling life style.  I am going to strive to rest in Him who is all and above all as I seek to accomplish my mission--to lead my little ones to Heaven.

**I received no compensation for this review.  I purchased the book independently and simply wished to share my views.

Christmas in July

It's July, a great time of year for swim team, barbeques, and Christmas shopping.  That's right, I'm already preparing for Christmas.  By taking my time to really think and search, I have the opportunity to give a real gift instead of just buying a present.  We live in a small home, very small, and so I have to really have to be picky about what I bring into it.  I try to give the children items that not only have long term value as opposed to the latest fad, but also durability and positive influences.  My children are not allowed to make long Christmas lists that go on and on with every latest gadget, gizmo, and craze.  Instead, they make a list of three small things (both in size and cost) that they would like in their stocking.  Sometimes, it's a book or art supply, one year Cowgirl wanted a fold up music stand for when she practiced piano.  Each of them usually ask for a favorite treat or candy--since this is the only time I am willing to buy either for them.  By keeping their focus away from the gimmies, we can keep our focus on Christ.  So it is with shopping in the summer.  I can use the down time of the year to pay attention to what I am buying and not be pressured.  During Advent, I am free to focus on the intent of the season and only have to pick up those three stocking stuffers they request on St Nicholas Day.  Below I have a couple of tips and tricks to help make Christmas shopping a year round, albeit more enjoyable and sanctifying event.

Budget and Free Money

It goes without saying that the best gifts bought with money you don't have end up being a curse not a blessing.  Take July to set up a spending plan, or maybe even your own Christmas account where you commit to depositing a certain amount each week or month.  In general, I try to spend as little as possible on Christmas.  It isn't that I don't love my children or even that I don't find SO MANY things I would like to buy, I just feel that there are ways to better spend the money than piles of toys.  One of the ways I cut down on expenses is by using "free money".    I belong to the following sites that offer cash back and/or points for reading emails, taking surveys, etc.  Now, let's be honest, you will never get rich reading emails, but any money that you save even if it is $50, $100 or only $15 is less money out of your pocket.  I have a collection of sites I belong to so that I can save up the most points/cash.  Right now, my favorite is Ebates, but I fluctuate depending upon who is offering the biggest bang for my buck.

Inboxdollars: Offers cash back as well as payments for reading emails, taking surveys, and watching videos.  The average payment is $0.02 per an email, not much, but if you read three emails a day, five days a week, you would save up over $15 in a year without even really trying.

My Points: My Points is similar to Inboxdollars except that you earn points that are traded in for gift cards.  I usually always earn at least two gift cards that I use to pay for or give as gifts.

Ebates: This is my newest site and right now my favorite.  Simply shop through the site to easily find coupons and earn cash back.  For example, I have been doing this for our orders through drugstore.com and earning 4% back on top of my drugstore.com dollars!  

Plan Gifts of Giving

Part of the reason that I like to not spend money, is because I prefer to take the money I have set aside for gifts and give it to those who really need it.  We make it a family affair so that the children learn to love giving.  Here are some of our favorite charities to support:

Mary's Meals: I can't say enough about this charity.  It is so simple. They take five cents (a nickel!!!) and feed a desperately hungry child at school.  Thus the child is nourished in mind AND body, increasing the chances that the cycle of poverty will be broken.  With just five cents, you are changing the world, one meal at a time.  In addition, 97% of every dollar goes directly to the children in need.  Learn more at their site and watch the movie Child 31, it will change your outlook on life forever.  

Operation Christmas Child: This is a favorite event in our house.  The children so enjoy shopping and filling shoe boxes for those in need.  The concept is also simple, fill a shoebox for a needy child with basic necessities and a few treats.  It is such a tangible way for children to learn to give, and you know everything you give is going directly into the hands of those that need it.

ShowHope: This is a favorite of mine.  Orphans are near and dear to my heart and I pray often for the chance to finally adopt my own.  In the meantime, this charity is doing so much for the orphans themselves in addition to financing the process of finding them forever homes.

In addition to those listed above, "St Nicholas" always leaves something for the children to give away.  They get a small treat (costing less that $3) and a little candy, but the big gift is something they must share.  Some years it has been some new toys to donate, or a big bag of groceries.  In recent years, we have started leaving cash and having the children decided how to spend it.  More often than not they choose animals or supplies from some of the many charity gift catalogs we receive each Advent.  They have so much fun and really try to use the money wisely so that that they can give as many things as possible.  Invaluable lessons are being taught without me even having to teach!

Celebrate the Whole Season

Part of what I also do in July is decide what feast days we will celebrate during Advent and any supplies we will need to do it.  In this way, the season is a time of anticipation and joy, without the entire focus being on Christmas day for getting, getting, getting.  Our favorite feasts to celebrate include St Nicholas Day, St Lucy's Day, St Juan Diego, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the Sundays of Advent. So take some time and plan some simple celebrations (Last year, St Juan Diego day fell on a particularly busy day.  We ate burritos from Dollar Tree for dinner and read a short book about Juan Diego.  Simple, cheap, but the kids ate it up!)  Pick out a simple treat to share with the children that day, like a new book, or watch a movie together or try something different like Mexican hot chocolate.  In the end, the children will build memories that will last much longer than that toy that they have to have!  It is important to plan these days early because the hustle and bustle of the weeks leading to Christmas will most certainly prevent you from doing so then. So prepare now, so you can prepare your hearts then.

I hope this has been at least a little helpful.  If you aren't ready to do this right now, start saving and thinking and plan on hopping on-board the Christmas in July train next year.  You and your children will certainly be happy you did.

A Catholic American Girl

This is a very short post to introduce you to my next project.  Did you know that there is a Catholic American Girl??? I didn't realize it until recently.  Cowgirl has begun reading through the Josefina story books and it suddenly hit me--unit study!!!  Then I started reading The Little Oratory, and I thought--Catholic unit study!

In the next few weeks, I will be outlining a unit study that will be divided into four main topics: faith, food, fashion, and fun.  We may even throw a little fiesta and fandango in there, too.  (I may be more excited about his that Cowgirl!)  So stay tuned...

I plan to have this all laid out with plenty of time to use it next school year as a homeschool study, Church book club, or extra family fun.  If you do not have the Josefina books, check your local library.  I actually got a great deal on a number of Josefina related books and items on both Amazon and ebay.

Any suggestions of what should be included in our study?

Come back and see my "Christmas in Almost-July" post--lots of helpful hints and links.

Pretty-Happy-Funny-Real A Mother/Daughter Afternoon.

I am once again linking up with Like Mother, Like Daughter for Thursday's {p,h,f,r} post.  These pictures are a glimpse of our recent Mother/Daughter get together.  It was a wonderful time spent with wonderful people.

Pretty

Our pretty, pretty princesses.  These girls are all so special to me.  It was nice to do one of these afternoons for girls and moms that I love so dearly.  It was always touching when we had groups of 60-100 girls, but it really did my heart good to serve people so near to my heart.  I can't believe how grown up they all are getting, but it has been a joy watching them grow.  I hope that they are always close friends.

Happy

 The girls were so happy about the crafts.  I think if we let them, they would still be sitting there gluing, choosing stickers, and decorating with LOTS of glitter glue.  I was happy that I had pulled together the activities because it really kept the girls engaged and excited.

Funny

We tried very hard to sing along as one of the moms played the piano. The piano was beautiful, our singing...let's just say work in progress.  These pictures look so lovely but in the second you can see my smirk as I look at Mary and laugh at all of us stumbling through the lyrics.  We have decided we need a dress rehearsal next time. :)

Real

For sure, the favorite part of the day was the May Crowning and Rose Ceremony.  All of the girls said it was the best activity.  More than that, I think the real truth is they just so appreciated getting some special time with Mom.

A very, very near second of favorite of the day was all the real good food that we had at the tea party. I snapped these pictures are we were setting up so they don't show how beautifully it was laid out or even all the delicious food we had.  It was a scrumptious spread.  We brought strawberry & spinach salad and cannoli stuffed strawberry--the strawberries symbolized the Sacred Heart for the month of June.  After the Rose Ceremony, we also had a delectable dessert buffet.  I unfortunately didn't get pictures of that, I was too busy enjoying the strawberries and truffles!

The Gift of a Rose

At the end of every Mother/Daughter, we have a rose ceremony.  It is a very simple idea but always has a profound effect of all of the mothers and daughter.  This year was no different, the girls agreed it was their favorite part.  Below, I have an outline of how to have your own rose ceremony, it is a memory that will last forever.

First, we always have the ceremony in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother.  Roses are so special, they are the most prized of flowers and I think that is why they have always been connected to the Blessed Mother.  My friend, Mary, has an exquisite statue that she always lends to the cause.  If you do not have a statue, perhaps you could make a poster with a Virgin Mary picture on it to use as a backdrop or have the ceremony in or around your parish wherever a statue is available.  It is not essential, but it does add a level of sacredness to the simple ceremony.

In a vase, in front of the statue, place a rose for each girl with a simple ribbon tied around it.  You can use fresh or silk roses, of any color, however, I have always preferred red roses.  The vase can be there throughout the entire program as decoration and a special gift for Mary.  Try to make sure that the roses are either wrapped in plastic or have most of the thorns removed to help prevent accidental injuries.

Have each mother and daughter pair up and one pair at a time approach the vase.  Each mother takes one rose out and then presents it to her daughter.  Each pair then gets a few moments to exchange some sort of sign of affection--a hug, a kiss, a snuggle--and a few special words.  It is a special time to tell your daughter how much you love her, how much it has meant to be together at the program, or how proud you are of the young lady she is becoming.  Make sure that the other couples are waiting back with enough space so that each mother and daughter feel like they have a bit of privacy to share without worrying about who is listening.

The last element that is so important is music.  We have used many songs for this ceremony.  Some samples are Hail Mary, Gentle Woman by Carey Landry, Find Your Wings by Mark Harris, In My Daughter's Eyes by Martina McBride, and Ave Maria by Schubert.  Some times we have had musicians to sing and play the song, other times it has been a recording.  This year we used a song that one of the girls had heard on EWTN, it is a pro-life ballad by Joanne Oberreuter entitled For Who I Am.  I have the lyrics below.

The most important part of the rose ceremony is to enjoy the moment and not rush it.  If you are short on time, try to hurry along any other element, but this.  This deserves your time and attention because how often do we get to stop and "smell the roses" with our daughter.  This is the crowning jewel of the entire day because the main goal of these retreats. is to build solid relationships between mothers and daughter.

Cowgirl and I after the last Rose Ceremony.  Since we had a small group of girls this time, we had the retreat in a home, which was lovely.  Thank you, Mary, again!!

For Who I Am

by Joanne Oberreuter

Truly you have formed my inmost being.

You knit me in my mother's womb.

I give thanks that you've made me so wonderfully.

Wonderful are all your works, O LORD.

Refrain

My soul, also, you knew full well,

Nor was my frame unknown to you,

When I was made in secret,

Fashioned before anyone could see.

Refrain

O Lord you have probed me and you know me.

You know hen I sit and stand.

My journeys and my rest are known to you.

My thoughts, from afar, you understand.

Refrain

Even before a word i son my tongue,

Behold you know the whole of it.

Behind me and before, you hem me in.

Upon me, Lord, you rest your hand.

**Refrain:

I give thanks to the Lord for who I am

Because I am beautifully made!

The Talks: Part 5--Modesty

I am finally wrapping up the series of talks with one that is central to all the rest.  Modesty in dress, behavior, associations, actions, and entertainment is the core to raising girls that are strong in inner beauty and principle.

We have already talked about how each of you is a special princess, God's princess.  How can you tell when someone is a princess?  They usually dress very special.  Princesses wear lovely clothes that show how special they are.  You wouldn't expect to see a princess in a stained t-shirt and ripped jeans, right?  Just like royalty here on Earth dresses to show how special they are, you should do the same.

What is most special about you is who you are, the heart that God gave you, your beautiful soul, and the light of Christ that shines from you.  Many people today dress in ways that don't draw attention to who they are or what they know.  The fashions we see around us draw attention to different parts of the body but not the whole person.  I am here to tell you that you are more than just the sum of your parts, you are more than showing off this feature or that feature.  Your clothing should draw attention to you as a person and ultimately to God himself.

Some people say, "Well, what about fashion?"  The Church has no fashion, it is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  We are called to be in the world but not of the world.  So, we must always do what is right even if it isn't the most popular thing.  Dressing modestly does not have to be strange or frumpy or ugly.  Dressing modestly should always be beautiful.  If you look hard enough and shop at places that sell clothing that is not just to shock and awe, you will find that there are many items out there that are modest and still fashionable and pretty.  A longer skirt and a fun shirt or a pretty dress with comfortable leggings underneath or maybe a "maxi dress" with a bolero jacket to cover your shoulders are all good options.  It is important to look at yourself in the mirror and see the whole package--does this outfit draw attention to who you are?  Will you be able to be active with your friends and still be comfortable?  If you turn around, bend over, and sit down, does it still fit well or do you have to pull at it a lot to get it to lay correctly? 

Clothing isn't the only way that we show modesty.  We also show it by how we act (Are we kind? Considerate? Helpful?  Giving?) and how we speak (Do our words spread light?  Are we speaking the truth?  Are we talking about suitable topics?  Do we brag?  Do we make fun of other people?)  Our actions and words are the best way to show what type of person we are.  St Francis once said, "Preach the Gospel always, when necessary use words."  That means let the way you treat others and behave show everyone how great God is.

In all things, remember this simple question: "If Jesus were to show up right now, would I want him to see/hear/experience what I am wearing/watching/saying/doing?"  We should always be thinking of Jesus and if you would feel ashamed to have your parents or priest or teachers with you at that moment, it is probably not a good idea.  Remember God see and knows all things, He is always with you.  You can turn to Him at any time, but you must also serve Him well all the time.

The other moms are now going to join in for a discussion and question/answer time about how we can be modest in our lives and give glory to God in all things.  If you have any questions or comments, please share them.

****Some points we discussed in our "round table style" discussion were:
-How Mary always appears covered and modest
-The way that magazines and television use computers to change how models and actresses look, so they aren't a real guide to beauty because their beauty is fake
-The standards of modesty that the Church sets out, quarter or half length sleeves, modest necklines, dresses and skirts knee length, no backs or shoulders showing
-The gift of being loved for who you are. (This is a good time to talk about how cruel the press and public can be on stars when they don't look "perfect")
-Discuss people who have true beauty from within.
-Answer questions about what to do if you can't find proper clothes or if people tease you about your clothes.
-This is also a good time to show samples of modest, comfortable, fun clothes that little girls will want to wear. (I've always wanted to do a "Dolly" fashion show with 18" dolls--maybe next time.)

If you have anything to share or questions, please leave a comment.  Thanks again for stopping by.  I will be wrapping up the Mother/Daughter series this week and begin to focus on building a "Little Oratory" in the home next week.  God bless!