I Am Loved Retreat Resources

I know that I have mentioned before that I was working on writing up a retreat for mothers and their pre-teen daughters.  It is finally finished.  This is a follow-up to my original mother/daughter retreat. Over the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing sample talks and pictures of the event, which was held this past Saturday.  For right now,  I would like to share the resources I used to put the event together.  It may seem like this should be the last part of the puzzle, but this is how I built the retreat, so I'm sharing my process.  After finding a theme, I began searching for what resources I could use to really speak to the girls, and not just by me talking the whole time.  Here is what we used and some suggestions for others that I found but didn't have time to share.  Thanks.

Music

We all have an internal soundtrack.  When things get quiet or boring or overwhelming, our soundtrack starts playing to give our mind a distraction.  When we fill our lives with good music that has a Godly message, our soundtrack will lead us closer to God. That is why I have always thought it important to include special music that the girls will want to enjoy. Here are the songs incorporated into Saturday's retreat.

1. He Knows My Name by Francesca Battisteli
2.  Beloved by Jordan Feliz
3. You Make Everything Beautiful by Rebecca St. James 
4. Ave Maria sung by Andrea Bocelli 
5. Find Your Wings by Mark Harris
6.  Grace by Laura Story

If you are looking for pop singers who are also great role models for your daughter, I highly recommend Francesca Batisteli, Rebecca St James, and Laura Story. Rebecca St James has a beautiful song, Wait for Me, about living a chaste life as a young girl. She even wrote a book by the same title that has an accompanying study guide perfect for early teens.

Here are some other worthy songs that I wanted to share but did not have enough time. One of these days I am going to find a way to do an entire day retreat!

1. Every Good Thing by the Afters 
2. More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz 
3. You Are More by Tenth Avenue North 
4. Everything Glorious by David Crowder Band 
5. The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets 
6. Hello, My Name Is by Matthew West 

Videos

  In addition to music, I included a few videos. Like it or not, our children are growing up in a media saturated society.  Like Mother Angelica always strove to do, you need to us the norms of the culture to reach out with God's message.  Here are the links to the short videos included in our retreat:

1. Modesty Doesn't Mean Frumpy by Colleen Hammond 
2. 9 Months in the Womb by Pregnancychat.com 
3. Chloe-A Story of Infertility, Adoption, and God's Love by Moving Works 

 Please stop back for more information and resources for princesses and their queens!

Any suggestions of what you would include? 

Five Favs: Clothes for Tweens

So I have been working on this for awhile.  Not only was it difficult to find places with modest clothes for tweens, finding time to write all of this out has seemed nearly impossible.  The terrible virus we had last week really knocked us for a loop.  We have never been so sick and are still recovering.  However, the weather is amazing right now and the kids have just run outside to bask in the fading sunshine after a very full day of co-op.  This is my shot, hope I can get it done. Linking up with Ashley.

 

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Still one of my favorites is Lands End.  I considered pulling them off this list after they ran a four page centerfold special on Gloria Steinmen.  However, they have apologized and pulled the article.  I believe somewhere in upper management there is a struggle going on at Lands End between keeping the business model that has made them so popular and re-inventing themselves by adopting a new, hip, persona.  Thankfully so far the traditional ways have won out.  

What I like about Lands End is that their children's clothes go up to size 16 in clothing and 7.5 in shoes.  This means that most tweens are covered.   Speaking of covered, they have the modest bathing suits that I have seen, save the specially designed, purposely modest ones.  This year, they unveiled a line of swim dresses and have been expanding their woman's suits selection to include more modest options.  Also, while most stores that design one outfit for little girls and big girls force four-year-olds to dress like fourteen-year-olds (or worse), Lands End designs all the outfits to look like, well kids' clothes not teen runway models.  Their quality is second to none, as is their customer service.

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In my endless searching--I cannot even tell you how many sites I previewed--I discovered Mikaose Boutique.  They have a wide selection of youthful jackets, sweaters, skirts, and bathing suits beginning in size XS for women.  In addition, there is a nice little selection of girls' dresses that go up to size 16. Their prices are very reasonable.  I am definitely going to be shopping there with Cowgirl, soon.

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If you are looking for casual clothes, my favorite from my search is JenClothing.  I especially like the long Bermuda shorts for Women and Men that start at size 1 for ladies--making them a great option for tweens.  I do wish that they had a kids version available, however, as of yet they do not.  Please be advised that this is a Mormon site, as are many modest clothing outlets.  Regardless of what you think of their belief system, I must say that the Mormons preach modesty and actually deliver by opening shops specifically geared toward modest dress.  I wish some Catholic clothing designers would do the same.

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For denim skirts that aren't the old hum drum type, I recommend Apostolic Clothing.  So many designs to choose from! I also appreciate their selection of tops that are grouped by sleeve length and include a number of layering tops.  Layering tops, ones that are thin enough to comfortably be worn under other clothes, make modest dressing so much easier because you can cover up and then layer on a trendy top, keeping up with the latest fashions while still maintaining your dignity.

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Speaking of changing clothing up a bit to keep within your comfort zone, have you heard of eShakti? This is a perfect choice for more formal clothing for events, holidays, and dances.  For less than $10, you can have a dress customized in areas such as sleeve length, skirt length, neckline, and openness of back.  Have you ever seen a dress and wished it was just a little longer, just a little less low cut, etc?  We all have.  Now you have options.  As an added bonus, all dresses are fitted to your height at no extra charge.  That means that if you select a knee length dress, it will be knee length whether you are 5'0" or 5' 11".  How great is that?  Many of the dresses are a bit pricey, but they are custom made and there are always plenty in the sale category.  Cowgirl is hoping to get a dress for Buddy's Communion from here.  If I had known about it sooner, I would have, too!  However, I already purchased my dress. 

Have any others to share?  Where is your favorite place to shop for modest clothing?  Thanks for stopping by!

A Walk Through My Week

To all those blogging, homeschooling mamas out there who manage to post regularly all the time, kudos to you! I don't know how you do it because I seem to be struggling to keep up with everything.  So, while I had at least three posts in mind for this week, this is the only one you are getting, dear readers.  There's always next week, right?  {Little Man's new desire to "help" with typing hasn't really made posting easy either.  When I posted my To-Don't List, I went back and re-read it and realized how many typos were in there. Ouch!  Between dodging those blonde locks and ten extra fingers on the keyboard, my editing skills were non-existent.  So, I apologize and hope that this post works out better.}  Linking up with Kelly.

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I have mentioned before that I am working on another mother/daughter retreat series. This is actually going to published into a manual with all the talks, craft instructions, resources, and more.  It will be available through my etsy shop in late April.  If you would like a sneak peak, please become an email subscriber for a free sample file.  

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As part of writing the mother/daughter retreat manual, I have been researching and gathering lists of resources for the girls and their moms.  I had planned on putting together a #5Favs post about places to find modest teen clothing--as you can see it didn't happen.  Now, I realize that modest teen clothing is almost an oxymoron these days, but I didn't realize just how hard it would be.  Many of the places advertising teen or tween clothes either had nothing for sale in that department or just a black skirt and a turtleneck.  So, I am still searching and hope to have the list up next week.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.  I have found a few places, but am still in search of more every day clothing vendors--apparently formal wear is easier to come by.

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Tuesday was Candlemas and we invited dear friends over to celebrate with us.  I decided to make these votive jars with the kids, except we used jars from the recycling bin.  I like that they are refillable and I had battery operated tea lights for the old kids to use when they want to light a candle for a special prayer request. They had a great time and the jars turned out so pretty.  We used prayer cards that I picked up from our parish store and the nice thing is the prayer on the back is still readable through the top of the jar.

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After making the votive jars, we rolled some beeswax candles.  I contemplated making jar candles, but that seemed very complicated and pouring hot wax with very active little ones about seemed like a recipe for disaster.  I purchased two kits from Sunflower Candles.  The first made two candles and came with extra pieces of colored beeswax for decorations. The second kit made three tapered candles.  Ann is a wonderful shopkeeper, I have ordered from her in the past and am always satisfied.  She graciously included an extra ready made candle to use as a sample for the children.  The children were so creative with the colored beeswax and enjoyed that part of the craft time best. Aren't they lovely?

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This Sunday we will bring our candles and candle holders to church to be blessed and try to light one of the candles each day when we pray the St Michael prayer and for special liturgical feasts, like Easter.  If rolled correctly, these little beeswax candles last a long time.

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So, you know all those blogs with smiling children who pose beuatifully and look like magazine models?  Well, this isn't one of them.  I tried to get Buddy to display his votive jar in such a way, and this is what I got.  At least he is smiling, kind of.  Little Man had to get in on the act, too, with his cheesy picture smile.

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I posted this on Facebook, but would like to ask again for prayers for Lizz.  My heartbreaks for her and her children.  I have thought a lot about having to say goodbye to my children and what their life would be like without me.  I have friends who have walked that road and I have marveled at how they handled it, but still questioned why God would take a young mother whose children need her so!  God has a plan, I know.  Please pray that this family will be wrapped in His Love and Protection, and if it be His Will may receive the miracle they so desperately need.

An Explaination of the Mantilla for Children

Throughout history, women and girls have kept their heads covered to protect them from the weather but also to show honor to God.  A girl's long, beautiful hair is like a princess' crown.  It crowns her with glory and makes her special.  God designed every girl to be one of His most beautiful creatures.  When a girl covers her hair it does not make her less beautiful, it makes her more special.  She is showing that she is special and God's princess, but also set apart for God.

 

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Mary, Our Blessed Mother, has always appeared with her head covered.  She is the most beloved and special of any woman to ever have lived or that ever will live.  Her veil is a symbol of her fiat, her saying the most precious "yes" to God.  Mary said yes not just to being Jesus' mother, but to serving God always in every way.  She gave her whole self to God for His Plan, that is why she is most blessed.



When women and girls veil it is not to draw attention to themselves but to draw attention to God and that in turn makes them even more beautiful and radiant.  Mantillas are beautiful works of art in themselves.  They are a unique and attractive way that God sets girls apart and shows how precious they are.  The beauty of the lace conceals and amplifies, or make better, the beauty of the girl wearing it.

 

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As it says above, generations and generations of girls and women covered their heads.  In the south of Europe, it is very hot most of the year.  So, mantillas were created because they were a way to show modesty and honor, but the light, lacy fabric made them more comfortable to wear in the heat.  Popularity of mantillas for worship spread throughout the world and became the standard way that Catholic women and girls covered their heads.  In America, the tradition ended a few decades ago, but it beginning to come back again.  In Spain, mantillas are still worn for all of Holy Week, to bull fights, and other religious ceremonies and worship.

 

Traditionally, young and unmarried girls wore white mantillas, and married women and widows wore black.  However, today there are so many colors to choose from.  Many different styles, colors, shapes, and variations of mantillas exist but all for the same purpose, to veil the sacred and special.  Until recently, everything in the Church that was most special was veiled in exquisite lace and quality fabrics.  The most decorative veils were reserved for the Tabernacle, where Christ is present in the Eucharist, and the precious vessels that hold the consecrated Hosts for Communion, which is also the living Jesus.

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If you see someone with a mantilla and you want to ask questions, do so politely, I am sure that she would love to explain why she wears it, where she bought it, and what the devotion means to her.  If you are interested in wearing a mantilla yourself, talk to your mom and look online.  There are so many, many shops online that offer beautiful mantillas in all different price ranges.  The most important thing to remember about wearing the veil is that it is a devotion to God and an outward sign of an inner commitment to serve and love Him with all you have.  You may feel a little self conscious at first, especially if not many other girls are veiling, but I think you will quickly see that the veil draws your attention to the altar and your thoughts to God, and soon you will be so involved in the Mass you will forget about what anyone else thinks.

If any girls have questions, please leave them in the comment box or email me.  I am happy to answer or I could have my daughter answer.  Thanks and have a blessed week.

The Talks: Part 5--Modesty

I am finally wrapping up the series of talks with one that is central to all the rest.  Modesty in dress, behavior, associations, actions, and entertainment is the core to raising girls that are strong in inner beauty and principle.

We have already talked about how each of you is a special princess, God's princess.  How can you tell when someone is a princess?  They usually dress very special.  Princesses wear lovely clothes that show how special they are.  You wouldn't expect to see a princess in a stained t-shirt and ripped jeans, right?  Just like royalty here on Earth dresses to show how special they are, you should do the same.

What is most special about you is who you are, the heart that God gave you, your beautiful soul, and the light of Christ that shines from you.  Many people today dress in ways that don't draw attention to who they are or what they know.  The fashions we see around us draw attention to different parts of the body but not the whole person.  I am here to tell you that you are more than just the sum of your parts, you are more than showing off this feature or that feature.  Your clothing should draw attention to you as a person and ultimately to God himself.

Some people say, "Well, what about fashion?"  The Church has no fashion, it is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  We are called to be in the world but not of the world.  So, we must always do what is right even if it isn't the most popular thing.  Dressing modestly does not have to be strange or frumpy or ugly.  Dressing modestly should always be beautiful.  If you look hard enough and shop at places that sell clothing that is not just to shock and awe, you will find that there are many items out there that are modest and still fashionable and pretty.  A longer skirt and a fun shirt or a pretty dress with comfortable leggings underneath or maybe a "maxi dress" with a bolero jacket to cover your shoulders are all good options.  It is important to look at yourself in the mirror and see the whole package--does this outfit draw attention to who you are?  Will you be able to be active with your friends and still be comfortable?  If you turn around, bend over, and sit down, does it still fit well or do you have to pull at it a lot to get it to lay correctly? 

Clothing isn't the only way that we show modesty.  We also show it by how we act (Are we kind? Considerate? Helpful?  Giving?) and how we speak (Do our words spread light?  Are we speaking the truth?  Are we talking about suitable topics?  Do we brag?  Do we make fun of other people?)  Our actions and words are the best way to show what type of person we are.  St Francis once said, "Preach the Gospel always, when necessary use words."  That means let the way you treat others and behave show everyone how great God is.

In all things, remember this simple question: "If Jesus were to show up right now, would I want him to see/hear/experience what I am wearing/watching/saying/doing?"  We should always be thinking of Jesus and if you would feel ashamed to have your parents or priest or teachers with you at that moment, it is probably not a good idea.  Remember God see and knows all things, He is always with you.  You can turn to Him at any time, but you must also serve Him well all the time.

The other moms are now going to join in for a discussion and question/answer time about how we can be modest in our lives and give glory to God in all things.  If you have any questions or comments, please share them.

****Some points we discussed in our "round table style" discussion were:
-How Mary always appears covered and modest
-The way that magazines and television use computers to change how models and actresses look, so they aren't a real guide to beauty because their beauty is fake
-The standards of modesty that the Church sets out, quarter or half length sleeves, modest necklines, dresses and skirts knee length, no backs or shoulders showing
-The gift of being loved for who you are. (This is a good time to talk about how cruel the press and public can be on stars when they don't look "perfect")
-Discuss people who have true beauty from within.
-Answer questions about what to do if you can't find proper clothes or if people tease you about your clothes.
-This is also a good time to show samples of modest, comfortable, fun clothes that little girls will want to wear. (I've always wanted to do a "Dolly" fashion show with 18" dolls--maybe next time.)

If you have anything to share or questions, please leave a comment.  Thanks again for stopping by.  I will be wrapping up the Mother/Daughter series this week and begin to focus on building a "Little Oratory" in the home next week.  God bless!

Five Faves: Books for Moms of Tween Girls

Here are my Fave Five books for moms of tweens.  Stay tuned, the last talk of the series will be coming up next week along with the links to documents--sorry I haven't gotten them up yet!  All images are linked to Christianbook.com.  Thanks.

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Anything by Jason Evert is automatically on my recommendation list.  This is a favorite though because it is realistic, thorough, and geared for today's parents.

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A fun approach to talking to your daughter.  This is a hands-on manual for having those important talks with your daughter and getting in some quality bonding time as well.

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Girls are under so much pressure to grow up.  If you read the classics like Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables, you will realize that being 9 or 10 was still a time of being a little girl.  This book is another hands-on guide to simple things any mom can do to protect her daughter's innocence and let her enjoy the full length of her childhood.

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This is similar to the "dates" book, however it is broken into age categories and works to create an on-going conversation between mothers and daughters about the most important topics.  This is a great book for moms of girls from preschoolers to teens.

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Gregory Popcak is another of my favorite authors.  In this book, he not only explores how to have "the talk" with your kids, but he helps you lay the all important foundation for raising children with Godly views of sex and relationships.  Like the "Conversations" book, this book spans all of childhood through teen years.